Ted and Ralph's Christmas
by Minor God
Summary: Ralph has organised a party for his estate workers... Sadly, he's forgotten to invite anyone but Ted.


Author note: Hi everyone, welcome to a new Ted and Ralph. I hope you like it; it's more serious than most of them our there, but please do read and review!

Disclaimer: I thoroughly disclaim both the characters.

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__Ted stands in a field before the big house, painting a fence. Ralph can be seen approaching him nervously. Eventually Ted grunts a greeting to him, and Ralph nods shyly. Silence._

Ralph: Er, Ted, I was wondering… Are you… that is, have you given any thought to Christmas yet?

_Ted looks up slowly._

Ted: Christmas, sir?

Ralph: Yes. Have you thought what you might be doing, or, anything?

Ted: Not really, sor, no.

Ralph: Do you like to do anything for Christmas, Ted?

Ted: …Not really, sor, no.

Ralph: No. Rather materialistic, isn't it, Ted, Christmas? The tacky lights, shoals of presents from the soulless supermarkets; drunken… things in, pubs… I suppose you prefer a night in with Mrs- oh, er.

_He remembers Mrs Ted is dead and looks mortified._

Ted: It's only the 11th of November, sor.

Ralph: Yes…

_Long silence._

Perhaps you're right… Are you looking forward to it though?

Ted: Oi wouldn't really know about that sor.

Ralph: No… I sometimes wonder at the enormity of it myself – that such simple beginnings led to such great things… That such a great hold on the hearts and minds of mankind could grow from something as humble as a birth in a stable. D-do you believe in God, Ted?

_Ted's eyes widen at the unexpected question. _

Ted: Oi was always raised as a Catholic, sor. My mother, she had very strong religious views.

Ralph: Yes, me too.

Ted: But Oi never believed a word of it.

Ralph: No. No, perhaps you're right. Perhaps we are all alone in the universe; masters of our own destiny, as it were...

_He looks up to the sky philosophically. Ted gets visibly bored._

Ted: Oi better be getting back to work now, sor.

Ralph (sheepishly): Yes, of course Ted. …Ted? There's just one more thing. The estate workers' Christmas party. Will you, that is-

Ted (deciding to save Ralph the trouble): Yes, sor.

_A month later, at the Christmas party. Ted is looking about stunned, because it is actually not a party, more an intimate dinner in an exclusive restaurant. They sit on opposite sides of a small table. Ralph is pawing at the menu embarrassedly._

Ralph: 'S I'm most dreadfully sorry, Ted, it does seem like what with all the excitement of Christmas, and everything, I have forgotten to invite everyone else.

Ted (mumbling): That's all roight, sor.

Ralph: No, Ted, it was irredeemably careless of me…

_He takes a deep breath._

Can you forgive me?

_Ted looks across at him bemusedly. _

Ted: …It's all roight, sor.

Ralph: Thank you, Ted. So, what do you think you might have?

Ted: Oi don't really know, sor.

Ralph: Oh, er, they have a Christmas dinner on offer. Do you like Turkey, Ted?

Ted: N…not really, sor, no.

Ralph: What is it you have for tea on Christmas Day, then, Ted?

Ted: Usually Oi've had whatever Mrs Ted wanted, sor. But this year, Oi dunno. What about you, sor?

Ralph: Er, probably just a Marks and Spencers' individual turkey roll; being on my own, and what not.

_Awkward silence._

Will you be spending Christmas alone, Ted?

Ted: Well Oi don't know about that. Oi suppose Oi will.

Ralph: And Brussel sprouts.

Ted: Sor?

Ralph: Christmas, one must eat Brussel sprouts, whether we enjoy them or not.

_Ted cracks a smile._

Ted: True sor.

Ralph: I remember one Christmas, my father forced six of them into my mouth while my mother held my hands behind my back.

_Ted's eyes widen._

Ralph (wistfully): I remember also, how excited I would get as the train pulled into King's Cross Station when I returned from school for the holidays… hoping mother and father might have come to meet me… Then, er, the long solitary bus ride home.

Ted (mumbling): Doesn't surprise me, sor.

Ralph: Sorry?

Ted: Your parents, sor; they were never very kind to you.

Ralph: _[Stunned silence. _...Well, they did their best, w-

Ted: No, they didn't.

Ralph: No… no, I suppose you're right.

_Extremely long and awkward silence. Ralph looks dangerously wistful again. _

Do you remember, Ted, that Christmas night when I tried to run away, and you found me hiding in the lower field?

Ted: Yes, sor. When you wor- six?

Ralph: Yes… And, er, when you took me home, father…

Ted: He hit you, sor.

Ralph (sadly): That's right.

_Another long and awkward silence._

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Author note: If you like this fic, I will gladly post the other half of the date very soon. Thanks for reading! 


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